ZXTape!
0Weight WatchersÃ ¶óÓóôðyñò–ò ó‘÷¤÷´÷Ê÷Ý÷4ú¬úAûÙûNüð÷Oø¹ø-ùªùÐüÞüýüý<ýMike stole your school ties.Agatha ate the last of the oatmeal.Agatha served oatmeal for dinner.Your cucumber toffees ran out.Don't forget to buy new doilies.Don't believe in oatmeal?When are you meeting Stammer?Is that a piranha in your bathtubSo he calls you doll-face?Liz Taylor workout a little rough?Is that plant of yours a man-eater?So you sleep on leather sheetsWhen are you meeting Agatha?Is that horse of yours AC or DC?Got enough hotel silver in your room?I see Mumsy still knits your socks.So you've taken up Sumo wrestling?Did you finish that ton of chips?Is that Picasso for real?Who's your caterer, Paul Bunyan?Why did Agatha send you that note?Who gave you the Care Bears pyjamas?Why the switch to low-cal bourbon?I see your re-reading Dr. Suess.ÿ÷óÿ¨ôÿ	rõÿõõÿ		ö		¥ö	Ìö	÷	U÷ÿSydney: "Going without breakfast        puts me in a murderous mood."Agatha: "It's the early bird that        gets the worm--and the        oatmeal, lard pants."Claudia: "What shall I do, Agatha?         He can't keep his eyes off         other women."Agatha:  "My advice dear, is eat         oatmeal for breakfast and         never apologize."Peter:   "Beastly behaviour at         breakfast, wot?"Mike:    "Wouldn't know, pal. I         drank mine in my room."Claudia:  "Still steamed over          breakfast, Sydney?"Sydney:   "That'll be the last time          someone takes my share.""I suggest you open your files.""The lovers are quarrelling again.""Unless there's an apology, thesituation's bound to becomeexplosive.""She's in grave danger of going snap,crackle, pop.""Apparently it's true: an elephantnever does forget."ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿWho was Sam Spade's partner?Miles ArcherBarney MillerPaul DrakeHumphrey BogartWhat was the first Mike Hammertitle?Mean StreetsI, the JuryThe Female EunuchI am Woman"Psycho" was based on the true caseof:Anthony PerkinsMarlin PerkinsJames StarkweatherEdward GeinWhat was used to simulate blood inthe "Psycho" shower scene?KetchupGrape Kool-AidChocolate SyrupSheep dipWho played the judge in the finalepisode of the Perry Mason TV show?Paul DrakeEllery QueenErrol Stanley GardnerLes Lye"Oatmeal: Breakfast of Champions."Note:  "Meet Sydney in Hall at 3p."Note:  "Meet Claudia in Library at4p."Copy of Joan Collins Workout Video.Photo of Mike Stammer signed:"Here's looking at you, doll-face."Note:  Meet Sydney on patio at 5:30p.Closet full of old school ties.Fold-out of Princess Anne in fieldhockey uniform.  Electric hobbyhorse.Note:  Meet Mike in foyer at 4:30.Entire roast oxen.  30 lb. bag ofcucumber toffees.  A hogshead ofDiet Pepsi.  "The Anarchist'sHandbook."Note:  "Claudia saw you flirtingwith the maid.  She's frightfullymiffed", signed Flimsey.Bottle of Jack Daniels Lite.Food faddistHas a tattoo she's never seenDoes'nt understand Benny HillCan't stand greed... in othersLiver makes up half his body weightÊ ¯2@Sometimes it's the little thingsthat drive a person to murder--likenot getting your oatmeal in themorning because an early riser has	gobbled it all.Sydney lured Agatha to Stammer'sempty room with the intention ofblowing her up.  A warning to youkids out there:  always eat a heartybreakfast or you could turn into acereal killer like Sydney.ick to denture creme?Do you keep burgers in the boxes?Do you keep wigs in the boxes?Do you keep burgers in the wigs?Do you keep wigs in the burgers?I notice you plan to go out.I notice you plan to eat out.I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new food8 0Mars Needs Womeni!}óšóþð‰ñò~òýòþ÷øø4øDø×úKûÔûVüàüTøÊølù¾ùTú>ýUýyýˆýýClaudia read your head and saw zero.Claudia bilked your neon shop.Claudia gave you a lousy prediction.Claudia panned "Mars Needs Women."How long has this been goin' on?Have you ironed your underwear?Got Schpott house broken yet?I notice your dog is Schpottless.Is that your schnauzer?Is that an original Rembrandt?So you turned up "Death!"Your Elvis shrine needs dusting.Does your C64 still work?Your mustache comb is missing.The family jewels look blue.Looks like you're broke.Finish that barrel of Pepsi?Been to the flicks lately?Has the Night Train ripened yet?How's the Perry diet going?So that nag Shinsplints won, eh?How are things in Guacamole?What's it all about, Alfie?Those 50-1 odds were great.ÿ
Åóÿgôÿ?õÿúõÿ		‹ö	áö	÷		V÷		†÷	Â÷ÿPeter:  "That fraud.  I should have         had my head read."Sydney: "I've no complaints.         She knew where to find that         rare wine."Agatha:  "Praise be to your crystal ball for saving my Schpott from a bit part in a sausage factory."Claudia: "If you don't stop him piddling on my cauldron he'll have a lead as a cocktail weenie."Mike:  "Look, three outta four ain't        bad."Claudia: "Yeah.  But I never thought          toffee nose would put his          entire savings on that          bomb!"Peter:  "I'm ruined.  You said you         saw my name in lights."Claudia: "Well you should have          opened a Neon shop, chump""Go to 'Break-In'. Be sure to gather every clue out of the suspects' rooms.""I noticed Peter was on the pistol range today.""Sydney will be meeting Peter in Peter's room at 5:00.""Who tells the fortune teller's fortune?""Peter's portfolio looks like Boone has been Picken.""Don't miss the Star Wars in Claudia's room at 7:00."ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ
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ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿAt about 370 a day, what country hasthe highest official murder rate?BelgiumBotswanaBrazilBulgariaWhat London murder mystery has beenplaying since November 25, 1952?Murder in the CathedralThe MousetrapLe morte d'ArthurDeath in the AfternoonIn what year was guillotining bannedin France?1812188819141981What does CID stand for?Central Interrogation Dept.Criminus Interuuptus Div.Criminal Investigation Dept.Central Intelligence DivisionWhat are the alleged odds of twopeople having the same fingerprints?64,000,000:164,000,000,000:16,400:164,000:1"Schpott" sleeping peacefully.Doggy diapers. K-9 Korpstraining tapes.Note:  Meet Claudia, her room, 6p.Crystal ball.  Tarot cards (deathcard turned over).Thank you notes from: Syd., Mike,Agatha.Note:  Meet Mike, patio 6:30p.Reveiws of his play"Mars Needs Women":Times:  "A cosmic stiff."News:   "Begs the gorge to rise."Bankruptcy notice.Bottle of Chateau de Night Train,1988.  Brick of Cheese Whiz withsoda crackers.Diary:  "A toast to Claudia'scrystal ball."Race forms.  Derby betting stubs on100-1 longshot named "Shinsplints."Sack o' money.Loves her dog SchpottPart-time clairvoyant/spiritualistLoves theatreKeen for rare winesPlays the ponies7 Í2A
In the clairvoyant biz, three out offour ain't bad--except when the oddman out is a bubblehead likeFlimsey.
Seems that Claudia's crystal ballwas humming.  She helped Agatha findher missing mutt Schpott, found therare wine Sydney was after and madea bundle for Mike when she predictedthe winner of the Kentucky Derby.Unfortunately, Claudia went too farwhen she urged Peter to invest in asure-thing: the stage version of theclassic film "Mars Needs Women."  Itbombed!  Peter lost his shirt andvowed to give Claudia an eye in the	middle of her forehead..I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new foodf 0Beaujolais Or Bustr"Æóãóåðñò¥ò6ó™÷²÷Å÷Ø÷â÷ÍùXúÙú,û»ûï÷Jø øúøRù)ü=üHüZülüMike wouldn't buy you BeaujolaisMike filled your chamberpot with oilMike insulted your ancestorsMike jilted youDid you knit the Prince's ear cosies?Your manuscript looks a little thin.Your photo collection is wonderful.So you collect Canadian money, eh?Are you happy with the hotel service?I hear you're seeing the bellhop?Could I borrow some food stamps?Your mink nightie looks smashing.Your wax lips are melting.Beaujolais tastes better than 10W30.Your brother made a superb mousse.I noticed you had a torn curtain.How's the sugar biz, lardo?Aren't you Mr. Creosote's brother?That Beaujolais should taste great.Did you get the Silver Crowd fixed?What are the odds on your race?So, I see you switched to menthols.Did you drink that breakfast?I like your Max Headroom imitation.ÿôÿ	‘ôÿõÿ´õÿ		‚ö		¦ö	àö	
÷		T÷ÿAgatha:   "Have you seen my Lady Di          Chamber Pot?"Claudia:  "The one with the big jug          ears?  No, I haven't."Peter:  "Did you change the oil in        your Ferrari?"Mike:   "Yes.  I used Agatha's        Royal Chamber Pot."Sydney:  "Agatha's in a royal snit         about her Chamber Pot."Peter:   "Uh. oh.  Better warn         Stammer cuz she's got a         short fuse."Agatha:  "You've soiled the dignity         of the Royal Couple, you         ghastly little man."Mike:    "Ah shaddup!  This race is         more important than those         two chumps.""I suggest you open your files.""If you need Help, call408-446-5757, ask for Mike.""Blood is thicker than oil.""If you want to 'uncork' this onedon't miss the 6p meeting in Mike'sroom.""Someone will be a no-show at theBeaujolais or Bust car race."ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿ
ÿÿWhat is sometimes called"inheritance powder?"TalcumCurareCocaineArsenicWhere does Perry Mason live?ClevelandLos AngelesNew YorkSan FranciscoWhere was Hercule Poirot born?in Brightonin a taxi cabin Greecein BelgiumWhat is the name of Sherlock Holme'sbrother?LarryWatsonMycroftSoamesWhat is the name of the "sinisterOriental" created by Sax Rohmer?OddjobCharlie ChanDr. Fu ManchuMr MotoMarmite.  Corgi Teaset.Prince Charles Ear Cosies.Note:  Meet Claudia in library at3:30p.Note:  Meet Mike in his room at 6p.Gucci food stamps.Note:  "Mike please pick me up a       keg of Beaujolais.Latest book:  "Wake me When it'sOver."Navigator's compass.Map of wine district.Note:  Meet Mike at 4:30p, here.Book:  "Who is Killing the GrapeChefs of Europe?!"Note:  "Mike pick me up 12 casesof wine."Note:  meet Peter on patio at 5:30p.Ferrari Testerossa key fob.Car tools.  Diploma from Al UnserTech."Beaujolais or Bust" race entry.Staunch MonarchistFood snobWine afficianadoCordon Bleu ChefCar racing buff1988.  Brick of Cheese Whiz withsoda crackers.Diary:  "A toast to Claudia'scrystal ball."Race forms.  Derby betting stubs on100-1 longshot named "Shinsplints."Sack o' money.Loves her dog SchpottPart-time clairvoyant/spiritualistLoves theatreKeen for rare winesPlays the ponies 2B	Most Americans are nuts over theroyals but Stammer needed aneducation in English history.  Noway Agatha could let him get away	with using her genuine Lady Di
Chamber Pot to change the oil inhis Ferrari.  Even if he did havethe big Beaujolais wine race comingup the next day.So, she hatched her plan to lighthis fuse in Peter's room atmidnight.o farwhen she urged Peter to invest in asure-thing: the stage version of theclassic film "Mars Needs Women."  Itbombed!  Peter lost his shirt andvowed to give Claudia an eye in the	middle of her forehead..I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new foodb 0Hold The Mustard°#­óÊóúðŠñò–ò!óZ÷s÷ƒ÷–÷¦÷húÚú‹û=ü¡ü¹÷8øÄø&ù±ù.ýQýiý€ýýPeter was blackmailing you.Peter was stealing your manuscripts.Peter stole your "weenies' Handbokk"Peter wanted your Smurf slippers.Have you rotated your Odor-Eaters?Is that matchmaking book useful?Is your perfume Eau d'Escargots?One of your goldfish is missing.How are the tango lessons coming?Are you in cahoots with Flimsey?Expecting an offer you can't refuse?How's your new car?Is that Mike's room key?So you're really a Moonie?Is that Boy Scout medal a forgery?So you used to date Princess Fergie?Do you wear leopard-skin shorts?Is it true you were known as Bubba?Is that Chateau de Bubble?What have you got under the rug?I see you read Soldier of Fortune?Are you and Claudia hot?Do you have grenades in your closet?It's about those slippers, Mike?ÿçóÿˆôÿ	õÿÄõÿ	uö	Âö	òö	÷ÿSydney:  "In my younger days, mydear, I could have had herfor a song."Agatha:  "The more carrots in yoursalad days, the fewercarats later on."Peter:  "Those private vices ofyours could cost you a lotof book sales."Mike:   "Please don't Flimsey, I'llgive you anything you want."Peter:  "I should be in a positionto take those diamonds offyour hands."Sydney: "Too late, old boy.  Lovehas the family jewels firmlyin her grip."Agatha:  "I've convinced that oldhippo that it's going totake all the diamonds."Claudia: "Good work.  The biggermy wedding present thebigger your commission.""If hearts aren't trumped bydiamonds, watch for a club and aspade.""We'll soon find out who the realwimp is""What glitters is not always gold.""Make sure there's a safety depositbox available tonight."ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ
ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿWho played TV private eyeRichard Diamonds's secretary?Meryl StreepPaul LyndeMary Tyler MooreShelley WintersWhere did Neil Young "shoot hisbaby"?Right here in River CityIn the still of the nightOn Blueberry hillDown by the riverOne, two, three, who shot Mr. Lee?The supremesThe BobettesMrs. LeeThe Shangri-lasRasputin was murdered by being?Boiled in oilDrawn and quarteredPoisoned, shot twice and drownedTossed off a 10-story towerArsenic poisoning in a corpse can bedetected by?analyzing the hair and nailsthe telltale green color of the toesa hideous, twisted smilethe strong smell of violets"Matchmaking for fun and profit."Binoculars.  Infra-red camera.Note:  "Meet Claudia in hallat 5:30p."Black wedding dress.Diary:  "Thanks to Agatha, the rockswill be mine."Note:   "Darling, come to my roomat 11p and I'll make your dreamscome true," signed 'S'.Copy of Mike's room key.  Polaroidcamera.  Thread samples.  Vial oftea.  Note:  "Meet me in Agatha'sat midnight," signed, '?'.Note:  Meet Agatha on patio at 4:30pFamily diamonds in velvet case.Champagne on ice, caviar.Note:  Meet Agatha in Library, 3p.Bourbon bottle full of tea.Smurf slippers.  Needlepoint,knitting.   "The Weenies' Handbook."Note:  Meet Peter in foyer at 3:30p.Mercenary in affairs of the heartLikes them pear shapedAchilles' heel expertLavish in loveLikes his eggs soft-boiledniesO ã2CIt was Stammer and not Claudia whosent that fateful note to Flimsey,tempting him to Agatha's room atmidnight.  There's only so much a	guy can take before even a certified
weenie like Stammer strikes back andstabs his tormentor--and blackmailerAs for Claudia and Sydney--well, themarriage lasted 38 minutesbefore Claudia filed for divorce andtook him for everything he had.Claudia now lives on the Rivierawith a beachboy named Guido. film "Mars Needs Women."  Itbombed!  Peter lost his shirt andvowed to give Claudia an eye in the	middle of her forehead..I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new foodf 0Banana Follies³$¤óÁóêðhñòò
ó÷,÷B÷R÷h÷Öùoúû©ûHüx÷øsøÍø6ùæüþüý&ý?ýMike won the Red Baron Award.Mike had the biggest banana.You wanted Mike's chimp Zippy.You needed McMonkey software.Are you going "Bananas?"I noticed you dog is incontinent.What!  You liked Dune?How do the banana fritters taste?Don't forget Sydney in the foyer.Is Sydney meeting you in the library?Does your boa eat those things?Which endangered species is the coat?Do you believe in magic?Are all your ties clip-on?Why are you meeting Meanstreet?Second banana at award time, eh?Are there eels in your hovercraft?Did you miss meeting Flimsey?Is that a blancmange in your tub?Could you pass the chimp dip?What have you done with the Scissors?Are you meeting Claudia at 6p.?You got a pistol or a banana there?You got a little Zip in your writing?ÿ
Þóÿgôÿ
üôÿ¹õÿ	aö	Žö	ªö	ïöÿClaudia: "He's made a monkey out of          all of us."Peter:  "A permanent bedtime for         Bonzo is the only solution"Sydney:  "The time has come for a          little gorilla warfare."Agatha:  "How could you suggest such          a thing you cruel man."Mike:   "So they finally figured out         I got a monkey on my back,         eh?"Agatha: "You must guard that         innocent little creature         with your life."Sydney:  "We're tired of being used          by that typing primate."Claudia: "Get him in one of our          rooms and stop his          monkeyshines.""The law of the jungle shall prevail.""See monkey, do monkey.""Those baboons would kill the goose that lays the golden egg.""Agatha may try to get in the way."ÿÿÿ
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ÿÿÿWho was the announcer for the TVseries "Martin Kane, Private Eye."Clayton MooreWalter CronkiteIan BothamBasil FawltyWho was Sherlock Holmes smarter,younger brother?Larry HolmesBaskerville HolmesGene WilderNo oneWho was Perry Mason's sidekick?Andy DevinePaul DrakePaul ShaferEd McMahonWhat did Nero Wolfe do forexercise?Shallow BreathingBackgammonDartsCrack his knuckles"We may be rats, crooks andmurderers but we're Americans":The Richard Nixon StoryGod Bless AmericaThe Reagan PapersSeven Miles From AlcatrazRoller Skates.  King Kong Poster.Curious George books.  Monkeywrench.  Unicycle.  Videos ofWoody Allen's "Bananas."  "Tarzanof the Apes."Red Herring Award. 3rd place.Leg trap baited with banana fritter.Skinning knife.  Vogue patternfor fur stole.Note:  Meet Sydney-library at 6p.Red Herring Award, 2nd place.Strychnine-laced banana daiquiri.Receipt for plot at St FrancisPet Cemetery.Note:  Meet Claudia in foyer at 5p.Red Herring Award, 4th place.Tape recording of female chimp.Carving set.  Cuisinart.Spices.  Chimp dip recipe.Note:  Meet Agatha in lib. at 4p.Chimp named Zippy chained to desk.Banana PC with McMonkey software.Red Herring Award for "The BananaMurders."Note:  Meet Agatha in Hall at 5p.Animal rights advocateFur wearing animalGreat White HunterDevours the competitionMinds his own monkey businessear shapedAchilles' heel expertLavish in loveLikes his eggs soft-boiledniesj L2DWhen Stammer's colleagues discoveredhis pet chimp Zippy was writing andwinning the Red Herring mysteryawards, they were humiliated.  So	they banded together to eliminate
Zippy--all except the oneanimal lover in the bunch, Agatha.She planned to poison Stammerin his room at midnight and getZippy for herself.  With a littleloving care. Zippy might come upwith an even better mystery thanthis and she could cop her own	Red Herring award. "Mars Needs Women."  Itbombed!  Peter lost his shirt andvowed to give Claudia an eye in the	middle of her forehead..I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new foodk 0A Case For The Birds´%’ó¨óØðmñùñŒòóÿö	÷÷&÷-÷Œù¾ùúVú†ú=÷Æ÷Kø¦øùîú6ûdû’ûÞûIt's finger lickin' good.Of his sweet 'n sour spare ribs.He blew your boa away.He swiped your boa.Where did you get that golden egg?Is that a partridge in a pear tree?What do you have against Sylvester?Did you see a bird in the bush?Is your nest egg all stocks?You do some explosive reading!What do you call a female peacock?How do you feel about bald eagles?Do you listen to the mocking bird?Have you been robin banks lately?So you've spotted a rare sea raven?Eat quiche while bird watching?Have you been duck hunting?Are you planning a goose dinner?Eaten Chicken Kiev lately?I see you like to poach eggs.Do you ever use those duck calls?Do you type with chicken fingers?How about them Blue Jays?There were birds on the hill.ÿÅóÿ	ôÿõÿ		²õ	Õõ		'ö		‰öÿClaudia: "I hung my boa out to dry          and when I returned only          a few feathers were left."Peter:   "Maybe it flew the coop."Claudia: "Someone will pay for          this."Mike:  "I bagged some weird kind of        bird."Sydney: "You Dodo, you shot a boa."Mike:   "I don't see no scales."Claudia:  "Hey big boy.  Would you           like me to tuck you in           your eiderdown?"Mike:     "Sure I'd be tickled to           death.""Check your files, bird brain.""She can be quite flighty.  You'd best break into her room and his too.""Don't chicken out now.  Keep an eagle eye on those 3 meetings-- listen to every chirp.""Even a featherweight dick would know it's time to make some calls and get those birds to lay some eggs."ÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	
ÿÿÿÿWho confessed to killing Cock Robinand what was the murder weapon?goose/nooseparrot/garrotepullet/bulletsparrow/arrowWho played the private eye Sam Spadein the Maltese Falcon?Sydney GreenstreetHumphrey BogartPeter LorreDick PowellIn 1819, how many offences werepunishable by death in England?112233222The citizens of what U.S. state areleast likely to be murdered?IllinoisMichiganVermontMarylandWho played Norman Bates' mother inHitchcock's Psycho?Tony PerkinsJanet LeighVera MilesJane WymanDraft of story:  "Sylvester Shouldbe Shot."Book:  "Detonating Dynamite inDecoys."Note:  Meet Mike here at 5:30.Clipping:  "Real Men Watch Birds."Note:  Meet Claudia, foyer, 3:30.Book:  "How to Enjoy Italian StyleGoose."A pile of feathers and buckshot.French Duck Call collection.Note:  Meet Sydney, library, 4:30.Her pet bird often says, "I tot I saw a puddy cat . . . I deed, I deedHas fine collection of feather hats and boasEats like a birdOwns shares in Lick-a-ChickWorked with Warners on the animated sex mystery, "Daffy the Peeking Duck."Eats birds,  Believes birds of a feather should be flocked together:   "Begs the gorge to rise."Bankruptcy notice.Bottle of Chateau de Night Train,1988.  Brick of Cheese Whiz withsoda crackers.Diary:  "A toast to Claudia'scrystal ball."Race forms.  Derby betting stubs on100-1 longshot named "Shinsplints."Sack o' money.Loves her dog SchpottPart-time clairvoyant/spiritualistLoves theatreKeen for rare winesPlays the ponies… 	2E
This was a high-flying affair,an ugly little case of fowl playI winged my way through.Claudia, after giving her best	feather boa a ducking in the bird
bath had it hung out to dry on thecrows line.   Meanwhile, Mike was outgroussing for game, and mistakingthe drying boa for a sitting duck,blew the stuffing out of it.Claudia's feathers were more thana bit ruffled.  She decided to cookhis goose by bombing his eiderdownbed.Who knows?  If bird watcher Flimseyhadn't turned stool pigeon and	tipped me off, that bird would have
flown the coop.orehead..I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new foodn 0Fast Food Fight¨&®óÄóôðñòò2óàöêö÷ö÷÷Qùù°ùúYú'÷±÷%ø¥øíøÚú ûYûŽû¹ûHe would've ruined MucBurgers.He ate more than his share of burgers.He had a passion for oysters.He wore 5 day deodorant pads.Crazy glue prevents denture problems.Does fast food cause flatulence?Where were your teeth last night?Do MucBurgers stick to denture creme?Do you keep burgers in the boxes?Do you keep wigs in the boxes?Do you keep burgers in the wigs?Do you keep wigs in the burgers?I notice you plan to go out.I notice you plan to eat out.I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new food?I see you eat a lot of MucBurgers.I see you watch the soaps.I see you wash with soap.I see your watch is soap.ÿáóÿ¡ôÿSõÿ		íõ		ö		4ö			}öÿSydney:  "I can't wait to improve          the diet of the tasteless          masses."Agatha:  "Are you sure oyster and          mung sauce burgers will          stay down?"Mike:  "You can't sell it.  I'd        never survive without        MucBurgers."Peter: "There will still be        MucBurgers but with an        improved menu.Mike:   "At least let me help taste         test the new menu."Sydney: "Fine idea."Mike:   "Good, meet you at 11:30 on         the patio.""Where's the beef?  In your files.""Be a MucBurgler--break in.""You deserve a break today. So monitor the fo-o-yer at 4 o'clock.""Call the uninvolved and confirm your suspicions, then call the guilty before the crime."ÿÿÿ
ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿName the U.S. "diet doctor" murderedby his lover, Jean Harris?Klaus von BulowDr Herman TarnowerDr SuessDr Marcus WelbyWho has NOT played Philip Marlowein the movies?James GarnerElliot GouldRobert MitchumPaul NewmanWhat private eye charges $25 a dayplus expenses.Rabbi David SmallSherlock HolmesPhilip MarloweMicky SpillaneWhat is Miss Marple's first name?AgathaJaneMinnieRaquelWhose motto was "We Never Sleep"?PinkertonInsomniacs AnonymousScotland YardR.C.M.P.Crazy glue, dentures.Note:  Meet Sydney at 3 in library.Wig boxes, wigs, crazy glue.Contract to sell his 51% holdingsof MucBurgers.Note:  Meet Mike, hall, 3:30.Financial papers for purchase ofMucBurgers.Recipe for raw oyster burgers.Large pile of empty MucBurger boxes.Book:  How the Great Chefs of EuropeWere Poisoned.Note:  Meet Peter, 3:30, hall.Believes fast food is like politics--always comes up in conversationBelieves fast food is like slow sex--a long time comingAte 5 MucBurgers before realizing they came wrappedBelieves calories are a measure of flavorEats 3 meals 6 times a day at MucBurgers birds,  Believes birds of a feather should be flocked together:   "Begs the gorge to rise."Bankruptcy notice.Bottle of Chateau de Night Train,1988.  Brick of Cheese Whiz withsoda crackers.Diary:  "A toast to Claudia'scrystal ball."Race forms.  Derby betting stubs on100-1 longshot named "Shinsplints."Sack o' money.Loves her dog SchpottPart-time clairvoyant/spiritualistLoves theatreKeen for rare winesPlays the ponies Ô2FImagine you've eaten virtuallyevery meal of your life atMucBurgers.  You learn a majorshareholder plans to sell out--	the new man hopes to adorn your
sustenance with carp roe, fish eyes,mung sauce and other delicacies.If you're like Stammer you panic!Mike had learned that Flimsey wasconsidering selling out to Sydney.His imagination upchucked at thethought of Sydney "upgrading" themenu.  Stammer's burger hand wasforced to plot murder.
The plan was simple.  He wouldhelp Sydney with his menu plans,then set up a poison taste test,a patio barbeque and a midnightmurder.walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new food 0Publish Or Perishd(UóyóéðgñÖñXòßòÛ÷ë÷ø÷øø)úŠúòúoûÈû(øŠøàøVùÊùü1üEü_ü€üPeter ate the oyster sauce.Peter was dating Claudia.Peter was grabbing all the promo $$.Peter was blackmailing you.I've read your 'Mollusk Murders.'Are oysters an aphrodisiac?So you got a new contract, eh?Is Schpott still lost?Are you experienced?Still pumping iron I see.Is that a SONY or a SANYO?Is that bullwhip licenced?Is that all there is?Who do you like in the Cup Final?Don't you like lemon curry?So you've dealt with Mr McFreeburg.Only 12 cases of oysters?Have you had Tuna Gargoyle yet?Is your contract up for renewal?You've eaten all the cheesetoast.Who's the doxie?Really, a grown man with a G. I. Joe?Are you afraid of the dark?Your socks are slipping.ÿóÿNôÿõÿÆõÿ
Töÿ		÷		U÷	˜÷ÿMike:    "I split a gut when I heard          they had to split the promo          dough."Sydney:   "Well let's see who gets           'mollusked' over this           one."Flimsey: "I'll kill before I split          promo money with old          oyster face."Sydney:  "Flimsey!  Would you really          put the lady in 'pearless'          danger?"Agatha:  "Over my dead body.  He'll          spend my promo money on          his fishwrap."Sydney:  "Mother of peril.  Don't be          so hard-shelled about it."Agatha: "Well Peter can have it all.         I've decided to retire."Claudia: "Say that again, a little          louder, please."Claudia:  "It's all here on tape.           She's giving it up."Peter:    "Lucky for her.  The old           Flimmer would have made           short work of her.""Break into Peter and Agatha's rooms and bring them to their senses.""I wouldn't miss the 4p meeting between Claudia and Agatha.""Do you really think Agatha plans to shuck the whole thing?"ÿÿÿ
ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿWhich cop worked on the Honolulu PD?Charlie ChanDon HoMurph the SurfRicardo TubbsOne of Dick Tracy's nemesis was?Banjo EyesSkin HeadThe PenquinFlattopIn "Chinatown" Jack Nicholson'snose is sliced by?Faye DunawayCharlie ChanRoman PolanskiJulia ChildWho plays the one-eyed detectivein Columbo?Antony CyclopsSammy Davis Jr.Peter HathawayPeter FalkA moll is:a blind gophera blackjacka gangster's girlfriendfor pedestrians onlyContract with the McFreeburg DoubleAgency/Publishing Inc.Note:  Meet Claudia, lib., 4p.Micro Japanese tape recorder.Bottle of Canal of Love Perfume.Note:  Meet Peter in his room, 5.Letter to B. McFreeburg re:promo money on new contract.Diary:  "Don't forget to meetMeanstreet in his room at 3.12 cases of oysters.  Two airlinecourtesy bags.Note:  Meet Agatha, patio, 3:30.G. I. Joe.  Gumby.  Latest Batmancomic.Note:  Meet Sydney, foyer, 2:30.Loves fame and fortuneLoves trade gossipEnjoys promotional toursLoves eating oysters--unshuckedPublishes with Dell Pickle label® ë2H	What people will do for money!Peter and Agatha--both were soproud of their new publishingdeals.  All that promotion money.	Imagine the shock when they
discovered they had the same agent,Barry McFreeburg and he wassplitting the promotion $$ betweenthem.
Both plotted the other's demise.But Agatha outfoxed Flimsey byplanting the bogus story withClaudia that she intended toretire from writing.  Sure enough,Claudia told Flimsey, he bought the	hoax, called off his murder plans
and left himself wide open toAgatha's Midnight Murder with thepoison in the foyer.Don't you like black wine gums?Intellivision makes a great door jam.Your Osborne needs dusting.Your pornware is disgusting.You've eaten all the Alphabits.Who's on third?What did Vapo 0The Rat Trap1)¦óÊóìðƒñòœò/ó=øJø]øpø‰ø¿úGû¯û@üãü¢øFùŸùõùgúwý‘ý¸ýËýéýäðfired you from "The Rat Trap"Sydney ate all the cheeseäðcopied a John Cleese scriptäðwas blackmailing youAgatha Love your Spandex support hose.So you like to drive in comfort?Is that photo a horse or your husband?Do you feel the times are a-changin?How much is that doggy in the window?That's a great autograph collection.I didn't know you liked John Denver?Is that bullwhip licensed?How far is Tipperary?Who do you like in the Super Bowl?What's it like to be an actor?Don't you like black jelly beans?Is Flimsey mentioned in your diary?How much wood does a woodchuck chuck?Nice leather doilies ya got thereYou've eaten all the cheese.Who's on first?What have you done in your bidet?Do you know the way to San Jose?Is that award for Agatha?ÿçóÿ˜ôÿFõÿ	ßõÿ
yöÿ	+÷		v÷	º÷	øÿSydney:  "Thank god you ruined mythespian career, I wouln'thave become a mystery writer."Agatha:  "I should have chosen youover that awful littlePicklewhite."Claudia: "It's amazing--the Rat Trap	opened Oct. 16,1952 and it's	still on."Peter:  "I was there that night.Despite what anyone says,Picklewhite was superb."Sydney:  "Are all preparations forthe midnight surprisecomplete?"Mike:    "Yeah, we get A. in yourroom and give her whatshe deserves."Agatha: "How do you do Lord Peter,don't I know you fromsomewhere?"Peter: "I will answer that question,
if you come to Sydney's
at 11:30."Claudia: "Lord Peter suggests wemeet in your room at 11:30before surprising Agatha."Mike:    "Whatever his Lordshipwants.  Then we'llsurprise her at midnight.""Isn't it strange that AlfiePicklewhite vanished onOct 17, 1952?""She ended more than one careerin her day.  Ask the fat man.""He reminded me of little AlfiePicklewhite.  What does itmean?""There's something cheesey aboutthis whole affair."	ÿ
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ÿÿÿÿÿWhich match is incorrect?David Berkowitz/Son of SamJuan Corona/The Hillside StranglerJerry Lee Lewis/The KillerPeter Sutcliffe/The Yorkshire RipperWhat colour beard did Bluebeard(Henri Landru) have?BlondeBlueBlackRedHow many whacks did Lizzie Bordenactually give her parents?2132941In the Steve Martin private eyespoof, what don't dead men wear?PlaidGaloshesCummerbundsMascaraWhat percentage of murder victimsare known to their killers?80602510Keys to Rolls Royce.  GuinnessBook of Records.  Rare cheeses.Note:  Meet Syd in lib. at 3p.Note:  Meet Peter in hall, 4:30.Original Rat Trap program missingone cast member's autograph.Note:  Meet Peter on patio at 3p.Bios. of Olivier, Guinness,Niven, Gielgud, Sid James.Receipt from Rare Cheese Shoppe.Scrapbook of theatre reveiws,dated 17-10-52.Champagne.  Crackers.  36 rarecheeses.  Cocktail napkins.Framed original poster for theRat Trap.Diary:  "This Flimsey chap ringsa distant bell."Award for Agatha: "Longest RunningPlay."Diary:   "Meet Syd in hall at 4p.,Claudia on patio at 5p.,All but Agatha in my room at 11p."Richer than Stephen KingNewest member of the Red Herring ClubHumble beginningsStarted out as a child actorNot a fan of theatre• Z2IIn the fall of 1952, Agatha Maypolepersonally selected little AlfiePicklewhite, the son of a Cockneyeelmonger, over not-so-little Sydney	Meanstreet, for the role of young
Roger Murgatroyd in her new playThe Rat Trap.  Picklewhite was sodreadful on opening night thatAgatha fired him on the spot.The play of course went on to maketheatre history.As for little Alf, he never forgothis humiliation, and decades laterhe engineered a meeting between hiscurd-loving tormentor and a hunk ofpoisoned Venezuelan beaver cheese.Yes, little Alfie Picklewhite grew	up to be Lord Peter Flimsey.wine gums?Intellivision makes a great door jam.Your Osborne needs dusting.Your pornware is disgusting.You've eaten all the Alphabits.Who's on third?What did Vapo
 0	Blackmail*Žó²óîðƒñ÷ñzòóX÷k÷x÷‚÷›÷búçúSûÜû5üº÷"ø€øù¾ùÏüèüúüýýYou were being blackmailed by Mike.You are feeling peckish.You're having an affair with ClaudiaYou are blackmailing MikeI see you like velcro too.I like your cabbage patch collection.Could I borrow your tweed underwear?Your dustball collection is growing.Your duvet is charming.Your waterbed sprang a leak.The rowing team sends its best.Your room is a mess.May I borrow your hat blocker?Your mustache has melted.Are you writing a history of velcro?I see you collect daggers.Can you play some duke for me?I saw that crate of Oreos in your roomMr. Creosote was napping on your bed.Your bedroom window is broken.Someone ransacked your bedroom.Blackmail is a dirty business.Could I borrow a cigarette?I like your room in puce.ÿÏóÿwôÿìôÿ	tõÿíõÿ		¶ö	Íö	÷		0÷ÿMike: "I understand he's going to      open the first velcro museum."Sydney: "That's right.  And the        feature will be velcro        chicken lips."Mike:  "Pay up or I'll squeal on       you."Agatha: "Don't try and blackmail me        you little worm."Sydney: "He claims his bloodlines        are impeccable."Claudia: "Not at all.  He has the          vilest of antecedents."Mike:   "She'll pay plenty for what        I know."Flimsey: "Watch yourself, she has a         mean streak."Flimsey: "See for yourself.  The         Flimsey family in the         Heraldry Handbook."Claudia: "My apologies.  By the way,         did you find your velcro         chicken lips?""Check your files.""When she gets finished with him,Stammer will walk like Ironsides.""Take the "A" Train."Agatha is high in the pecking order.ÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ
ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿ
ÿÿÿÿIn 1973 which city set a U.S. recordof 751 homicides?ClevelandNew YorkChicagoDetroitWhat was the first year in U.S.history without a lynching?1919189619521929What was the last request ofJas A. Rodgers, executed in 1960?Ear plugsA bullet proof vestA toasted BLT to goA carton of Chesterfield KingsWhich match is incorrect?Rex Stout / Tom WolfeG. K. Chesterton / Father BrownDorothy L. Sayers/Lord Peter WimseyEarl Der Biggers / Charlie ChanWhich brothers where defeated in theshootout at the OK corral in 1881?The Earp BrothersThe Doobie BrothersThe Clanton BrothersThe James BrothersUnder her bed Agatha has hidden:  Velcro chicken lips.  Assorted  power tools.On dresser:  Note: Meet Mike hereat 3p.On night table:  Photo of Cambridge Rowing team.  Invitation for drinks at Flimsey's  room, 6p.In his desk is:  Blackmail note from Claudia.  Book: "Velcro and the Funky  Chicken."  Note to meet mike at 4:30, libraryOn stereo is  Duke Ellington record.  Note to meet Claudia at 3p, her  room.In the pile of dirty laundry is acheque from Agatha.On bookshelf is text:"Blackmail for Fun and Profit."Note:  Meet Sydney in Foyer at 2p.Favors tweed panty hoseAspiring actressOwns a velcro theme parkJazz buffHas a motel tant 4p.,Claudia on patio at 5p.,All but Agatha in my room at 11p."Richer than Stephen KingNewest member of the Red Herring ClubHumble beginningsStarted out as a child actorNot a fan of theatre Á2JAgatha stole Flimsey's valuable setof velcro chicken lips.  Mikewitnessed the crime and tried toblackmail Agatha.  She responded by	arranging to meet Mike at midnight
in the foyer to demonstrate herLizzie Borden imitation.Claudia accused Flimsey of being afraud ... that he in fact won thefamily title at a dogfight.  Shetried to blackmail Flimsey but heproved his lineage with theHeraldy Handbook. decades laterhe engineered a meeting between hiscurd-loving tormentorand a hunk ofpoisoned Venezuelan beaver cheese.Yes, little Alfie Picklewhite grew	up to be Lord Peter Flimsey. wine gums?Intellivision makes a great door jam.Your Osborne needs dusting.Your pornware is disgusting.You've eaten all the Alphabits.Who's on third?What did Vapo) 0Of Pooches & Pillows+ ó½óøðqñò™ò(ó$÷1÷>÷K÷X÷Çù1ú‹úîú+ûe÷Ý÷XøÌøGùÉûàûùû
üüMike booted Schpott in the slats.Mike had an affair with the maid.Sydney sneezed on your dinner.Mike was borrowing money from you.Does Schpott like Gaines Burgers?How's the knitting going?Can I get a witness?Will that be cash or chargex?Is that the last train to Clarksville?You've made a mess of Mike's face.Still got those allergies?What do you do with that silly putty?I love your Accolade video games.Who do you like in the quoits match?Is that Canadian money flammable?Don't you like curried Doritos?Can you dance in those cleats?Are you smoking El Ropo cigars?Did you get that disease from Schpott?You've eaten all the kumquats.Who's your friend?Your hat needs blocking.Do you know the way to San Jose?Is that lipstick on your collar?ÿáóÿ	_ôÿ
Ýôÿwõÿ		üõ		)ö		cö		”ö	ÄöÿSydney:  "Achoo!  That dog will be          the death of me."Mike:  "That's no way to talk about        Claudia."Agatha:  "What have you done with          my baby?"Sydney:  "I punted your pesky pooch          into Loch Ness."Claudia:  "If he's two timing me           he's dead."Flimsey:  "Well my dear, I did see           the chambermaid in his           room."Mike:   "She's beautiful.  Lips         like pillows."Agatha: "Watch yourself sport.         Claudia has a mean streak.""Make sure you get into allthe rooms.""Maypole's dog is missing and she's out for blood.""Hercule.  Could you lend me 500 dollars?""Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.""Hercule, you'll never guess.  My Schpott has been found!  Tell Sydney the good news."
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ÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿWho plays the She inMurder, She Wrote?Mildred NatwickDame Edith EvansAngela LansburyMorgan FairchildName the detective who solvesMurder on the Orient Express?KojakSherlock HolmesMiss MarpleHercule PoirotThe breath of a cyanide poisoningvictim smells of?GarlicBitter almondsGrape Kool-AidJungle mouthIn Hitchcock's The Trouble withHarry, Harry is:a corpsea private eyea psychopathic murderera St BernardWho made his first appearance inA Study in Scarlet?Ellery QueenSherlock HolmesThe Thin ManSydney GreenstreetThree cases of Gaines burgers.Note:  Meet Sydney, patio 4:30.Note:  Meet Mike in his room at 6p.Binoculars.  Wire-tap.Picture of Mike with darts in it.Stack of IOU's from Mike.Junk:  Bic lighter, Canadian	money, wax lips,	velcro tutu.Note:  Meet Claudia, hall, 5p.Allergy tablets.  Cleats.Note: Meet Mike, library, 4p.Dirty laundry.  Lipstick on shirtcollar, bankruptcy notice.Note:  "Darling, I'll never forget        that weekend in the linen        closet."Loves her dog SchpottJealous, quick temperedWorld travellerHates kids and dogsA single swingerated 17-10-52.Champagne.  Crackers.  36 rarecheeses.  Cocktail napkins.Framed original poster for theRat Trap.Diary:  "This Flimsey chap ringsa distant bell."Award for Agatha: "Longest RunningPlay."Diary:   "Meet Syd in hall at 4p.,Claudia on patio at 5p.,All but Agatha in my room at 11p."Richer than Stephen KingNewest member of the Red Herring ClubHumble beginningsStarted out as a child actorNot a fan of theatre2 2KSuch an unlikely couple.  But whenyou're broke and desperate. Money,lots of it, can make a man turnmighty stupid.  I guess that's what	happened to Stammer.  Why else would
he take up with Claudia?  Sure, shehad tracts of land but she wasinsanely jealous and when Stammer gottogether with that chambermaid, theone that had lips like pillows,well ... Claudia had no choice but totry to skewer Mike in her room.As for Sydney,  lucky for him Agatha'spoodle could swim so all wasforgiven.poisoned Venezuelan beaver cheese.Yes, little Alfie Picklewhite grew	up to be Lord Peter Flimsey. wine gums?Intellivision makes a great door jam.Your Osborne needs dusting.Your pornware is disgusting.You've eaten all the Alphabits.Who's on third?What did Vapo7 0Computer Chronicles,yó¤óóð|ñò„òó“ø£ø­øÃøÜøû_ûÀû+ürüïøZùßùBú¯ú¼üÛüóü.ýXýClaudia tried to rip you off.Claudia's computer was down.You wanted all the endorsement $$$.You wanted Claudia's Coleco Adam.Run out of Preparation "H"?Is Australian wine a good laxative?Did you pay for that Spectravideo?Do you feel the earth move?How's your Chernobyl stock?Your Cabbage Patch computer melted.So you're a Jerry Lewis fan?Your room smells of wet tweed.So the Flimsey fortune has faded.Have you played Infiltrator?Cracked any code lately?Don't you like black wine gums?Intellivision makes a great door jam.Your Osborne needs dusting.Your pornware is disgusting.You've eaten all the Alphabits.Who's on third?What did Vaporware have to say?What's the damage?Is that the plagiarists award?ÿÁóÿ€ôÿ8õÿ	ïõÿ
²öÿ&÷ÿ		´÷		ð÷		#ø	[øÿSydney:  "I understand we may have	a deal with Vaporware Inc.	for a big bucks endorsement."Agatha:  "Yes, Claudia's negotiatingwith their president,Maj. Gen Wild Bill McLevy.Claudia:  "I'm afraid the deal fellthrough.  Vaporware decidedagainst publishing 'Murder Club Word Processing.'"Peter:  "Well, I guess its back tothe drawing board."Sydney:  "If the deal fell through,how come Claudia'sspending so much money?"Mike:    "Yeah.  That new McLemonshe got even comes withbuilt in artificial stupidity."Peter:  "I was counting on thatendorsement money to buy some of thegreat new Accolade games like Ace ofAces, Deceptor and Mean 18."Agatha:  "Don't forget Hardball andPsi Five."Claudia:  "I'll split the cash withyou if you keep yourmouth shut."Mike:  "Sister, my lips are sealed."Sydney:  "I'm famished.  I'm goingto MacDonalds.  They'vegot a new crustaceanburger called McSluggets."Peter:   "Wait for me.""This will be a bigger bomb than theE.T. video game.""Someone's going to put a bug inher system.""If she's holding out on us,I'll crack her code.""Holmes, did you see a telexfrom Silicon Valley?"ÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿ
ÿÿThe star of "Murder, She Wrote" is:Angie DickensonA. A. FairAgatha ChristieAngela LansburyPeter Sellers was a bumblingdetective in:Wait Until DarkA Shot in the DarkWhistling in the DarkThe Sun Also RisesDashiell Hammett's "otherprofession:"StockbrokerPinkerton manCab driverMillinerRaymond Chandler's "otherprofession:"Oil company executiveBoxerOrnithologistMathematicianDorothy Sayers' "other profession:"PhilatelistProctologistMedieval ScholarScientologistCheap calculator that makesmistakes.Spectravideo paper weight.Cheque for $1M from Vaporware Inc.Mound of melted plastic withnameplate--"Coleco Adam."Code Cracker's Handbook.Book:  "Eunuchs--Software forStraights."Texas Instruments boat anchor.Pail of Grease Gumbo.Modem for Univac.Intellivision door jam.Key to Claudia's room.Telex from Vaporware.IBM PC Jr. flowerpot.Big fan of horoscope softwareSecretary, Murder ClubProgramming 73'rd version of "Way of the Exploding Fist."Winner of Jack Trample lookalike contestBelieves Coleco will get back into computer biz; Š2LIt all started with that computerendorsement from Vaporware Inc.,the legendary Silicon Valleysoftware publisher (famous for	it's "Spelcheker" program)
signed the Murder Club for $1M inendorsements.Trouble was, Claudia, as treasurerof the club, negotiated the deal andthen pocketed the dough.Mike caught her, agreed to a splitbut got greedy and planned to bumpher off in her room with a bomb in	Claudia's toilet. Sydney,  lucky for him Agatha'spoodle could swim so all wasforgiven.poisoned Venezuelan beaver cheese.Yes, little Alfie Picklewhite grew	up to be Lord Peter Flimsey. wine gums?Intellivision makes a great door jam.Your Osborne needs dusting.Your pornware is disgusting.You've eaten all the Alphabits.Who's on third?What did VapoA 0The Case Of The Mutilated Moose.óªóäðrñîñqòóúö÷)÷?÷X÷Úù?ú¢úüúKût÷ç÷NøÇøIùªû¿ûÓûòûüHe ran over your brother.You were being blackmailed.You had an affair with Claudia.You're an homicidal maniac.So you're a Ronnie Reagan fan.I understand you're on medication.I saw the twinkies in your room.I understand you're a jazz buff.I understand you knew Frederick.I saw your jewellery collection.Your mink coat looks great.Your room's a mess.Your lint suit needs pressing.Who's your tailor, Purina?I saw High Society mag in your room.I see you collect velcro.Mind if I have a beer, old boy?I saw that side of beef in your room.I noticed the Plasmatics in your roomCan I get into that poker game?You should make your bed.What do you know about ladybugs?Have you read Stephen King's novel?I liked your room in Fushia.ÿÎóÿmôÿäôÿ
Oõÿ		Íõ	ñõ	=ö		vö	·öÿPeter: "I say old man, lend me one of        your guns for the shooting        party."Mike:  "By all means squire.  See you        in the a.m."Claudia: "I understand they always          get their man."Sydney:  "Then I'll get a sex          change."Agatha: "I love men in uniforms."Mike:   "Don't I look smashing in my         bell hop ensemble?"Peter:   "An eye for an eye; a hoof          for a hoof."Claudia: "Watch yourself. He can be          dangerous.""I suggest you open your files.""Room service.  Send up some chocolate mousse.  Hold the antlers.""I suggest you check Sydney and Peter's profiles.""I tried to stop but his brother was too stuffed to jump.""Don't be outfoxed.  The fur will fly over his bad driving."ÿÿÿ
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ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ"The Detective Wore Silk Drawers"is about:Dick TracyBare Knuckle BoxingGay HaberdasheryLiberaceWho was Perry Mason's longtimecompanion?LiberaceDella StreetDella ReeseAnnie LennoxWho was the narrator on the original"Shadow" radio show?Bob HopeLamont CranstonBing CrosbyBurt AtkinsIn "Rear Window" James Stewart seesa murder committed by:Raymond BurrKirk DouglasPee Wee HermanSheldon WisemanWhat song from "The Man Who Knew TooMuch" won an Academy Award?Nostradamus Mon AmourThird Man ThemeJust a GigoloQue Sera SeraA copy of Ronald Reagan's Join theDots Biography.A message to meet Mike on patio at4 pm.Frederick's of Hollywood catalog.Note: Meet Peter, lib, 5 p.Note: Meet Sydney, hall, 3 p.High Society mag:  Nigel Flimsey --Best Moose Costume.Meet Mike, his room, 5:30.Case of Moosehead beerBloodstained moose costume with theinitials NF.Copy of Imelda Marcos' "How toRotate Your Odor Eaters."Thursday's Stephen King novel.Loves Ronnie ReaganHas C64 that worksFormer mountie and crack shotTaxidermist to the starsHas gun collectionõ K2N
That headline in "High Society" gaveit all away.  Flimsey's brother won"Best Moose Costume" years ago whenour suspects were up-and-coming	mystery writers.Sydney Meanstreet was driving hisRolls Royce late one evening when hisheadlights failed to cut through thealcoholic haze and he hit a moose.At least what he thought was a moose.In fact it was a young 'Pooftah' named Nigel Flimsey and his dateNeville St. Claire -- dressed up asa moose.  They were returning from acostume party when they were run overby Sydney's Silver Crowd.	Local authorities were momentarily
perplexed but wrote off the accidentas an insoluble hit-and-run. ButLord Peter Flimsey never forgot andhe vowed to avenge Nigel's deathon the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear j 0The Mystery Of The Leaping Fish/Îóëóéð|ñò£ò9óK÷d÷}÷“÷£÷Ãùvú0ûÔûrü¹÷ø¤øþøxù3ýMý]ýgý‚ýPeter played piano with his knucklesPeter's fish stank up the hotelPeter stole your "Fish" plotPeter was a flounderSo you like Peter's piano playing?Did you hide that cask of sherry?I like your Sid Vicious poster.Is that a spittoon beside your bed?So you and Sydney are an item?So Agatha is really your mother?Why do you have three invitations?Do you use a trowel for your makeup?So you trout fish with dynamite?Are you going for two Red Herrings?Are you keeping a pet in your room?Do you wear rubber jockey shorts?Your next victim will be clean, eh?What are you wearing, a parachute?Do you think sting is the best?I love your new monochrome dumpster.I see your'e a Mozart fan, tooWho taught you flower arranging?Those hotel towels in your suitcase?Gonna be great balls o' fire tonight?ÿôÿ
§ôÿ-õÿÑõÿ		>ö	bö	±ö	ëö	 ÷ÿFlimsey: "We must try our luck withthe fishies one of thesenights old thing."Agatha:  "Oh, Lord Peter, anytimeyou think they're biting."Claudia:  "There's nothing lowerthan a plagiarist."Sydney:   "Nothing, unless it'sone who mangles themusical masters."Agatha:   "Oh, I'me so thrilled,dear.  He's promised totake me grunion fishing."Claudia:  "Be careful, Agatha, myfish ended up in hisfrying pan."Peter: "I'd simply kill for a peek
at his new manuscript."Mike:  "You may not get the chance
pal.""I suggest you open your files.""Tell Agatha the grunion are runningand to be at the river at midnight.""Holmes, you must come to my encoreMozart recital.""The leaping fish was hers andMozart is mine.""Fish and justice--both havescales."ÿÿÿÿ
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ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿWho stole the Star of India?Eddie FisherAlbert DeSalvoBobby FranksMurph the SurfWho is the central character in the"Seven Per Cent Solution?"Sherlock HolmesH. Boone PickensAlbert EinsteinJ. P. GettyWhat are brothel-creepers?PoliticiansCockroachesSoft-soled shoesVice copsWhat detective lives in a boatcalled "The Busted Flush"?Ed NortonDon JohnsonErnest AngeleyTravis McGee"Alibi Innings" is about:CricketBaseballQuoitsLawn bowlingFishing rod.  Lures.Note: "Meet Peter in Library at 4p."Note: "Meet Claudia in patio at	5:30p."Diary: "Peter personally invited meto hear him play mozart again."Three invitations: "Join me in hall,midnight, for my Mozart encore",signed Lord P.Note:  Meet Sydney in hall at 5:00p.Note:  Dear 'Willing Victim', see
you at midnight.Red Herring Award for "Mystery ofthe Leaping Fish."Hip Waders, fish net.  Photocopymachine.Diary: "Murder in the Baths" couldwin it for me again.Diary:  "I can't bear anotherevening of Flimsey's flounderingMozart."  Manuscript for SydneyMeanstreet's "Murder in the Baths."Mozart records.Jerry Lee Lewis records.Diary:  "Tonight it's the 'Killer'and my 'Victim'."Note:  Meet Peter in library 6:30p.Note:  "I'll be a little latetonight," signed, 'Willing Victim.'Waits with baited breathCan get crabbyBlowfishStill carps about AmadeusCard sharkngNewest member of the Red Herring ClubHumble beginningsStarted out as a child actorNot a fan of theatre³  2OTo that ages' old question. "Whyshoot the piano player?"  Claudiacould only respond: "Because thatpiker Flimsey stole my plot to	"The Mystery of the Leaping Fish."I didn't say anything at firstbecause I thought it stunk.  Butafter he won the award for it, Ihad to have my revenge, didn't I?My boyfriend Mike helped set it upin the Hall.t it was a young 'Pooftah' named Nigel Flimsey and his dateNeville St. Claire -- dressed up asa moose.  They were returning from acostume party when they were run overby Sydney's Silver Crowd.	Local authorities were momentarily
perplexed but wrote off the accidentas an insoluble hit-and-run. ButLord Peter Flimsey never forgot andhe vowed to avenge Nigel's deathon the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear A 0Paint By Numbers0uò®ò½ðñfñ²ñòò÷ø!ø4øAøCúÅú`ûühüWøÌøù‡ùþùåüýNý›ý©ýPeter ruined your reputation.your souffle.your day.your vacation.I see you have a diary?a dairy?a dowry?a doggy?M16 is a nebulous cluster?M16 is a hi-powered rifle?Both of the above?None of the above?So you were once in jail?in Java?in the papers?in Spain?You think space is positivelyòis negativelyòis not reallyòis nicelyò curved?Your room reminds me of the Navy.of the Vatican.of Venus.of the Alamo.ÿËò„óÿ×óÿTôÿÀôÿ
6õÿœõÿñõÿ		Åö			>÷		v÷		¶÷ÿMike:  "Is she still mad?"Peter: "Is the Pope still Catholic?	Your fake painting will be	the death of us both.  I	didn't even know it was fake!Mike:  "Now that's scary!"Sydney: "Your perfume smells likesatin enamel!"Agatha: "Oh! What colour?"Claudia: My "objet d'art" reviewthis month is on antique and rareguns.Agatha: "I've never seen an M16before."Claudia: "If I had to choose betweenthem I'd pick Flimsey!"Agatha:  "Well dear--give it ashot!"Mike:  "Art's what you make it."Peter: "That's easy for you to say.
It's all your fault but she
blames me."Claudia:  "Stammer doesn't have thebrains to come up with this.Flimsey's made a fool of me."Agatha: "Is Peter still running redlights?  You two should bevery careful."Mike:  "He couldn't tell so I fakedit.  He said he wanted it forhimself.  He said it would staylost forever.  Besides there aren'tany 'missing Monets', then hedecided to try it on you Claudia.""Forgery is a strong word!Duplicate reality is more like it.Besides they both liked it.They're the phonies.""Claudia's meeting Agatha at5:00--I say no more!""Agatha's warning Mike at 6--don'tmiss it (Mike's room).""That weasel's squealing to Claudiain his room at 7."ÿÿ
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ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿWhat was Peter Gunn's address?351 Ellis Park Road10 1/2 Baker Street10 Downing Street77 Sunset StripWhat is a 'cosh?TraitorJewel thiefBlackjackGetaway carWho played Richard Diamond'sanswering service?Sally FieldsTotie FieldsMary Tyler MooreJane FondaWho stole the Mona Lisa in 1911Michael PlantiniVincenco PeruggiaAmerigo VespucciAnna Maria AlberghettiHow many Popes have beenassassinated?XXVIXIIIIXIVDear diary: Sept. 16 "As awriter I do enjoy seeingcritics being publicly humiliated!"Note: meet Claudia at 4:00, lib.Sept. "Art of High Society"headline reads "New Art CriticReplaces Von Bulow."Manual "Proper Care of Your M16."Note: Agatha in hall at 5:30.Bullet proof vest.Bullet proof plaid toque.Note: meet Mike in the foyer, 6:30.Newspaper cut out of Flimseyin the gallery--caption reads"The Missing Monet!"Magazine article--"Space isPositively Curved."Note: meet Agatha at 3:30 in hall.An open box of the "Sistine Chapel"full scale, paint by numbers kit.Message to meet Peter at 3:00in the library.Part time toxicologist and mystery writerCritic for the "Art Of High Society"Infamously bad temperedColour blind art dealerFailed Coke challenge--couldn't tell the real thingMath anxietyGood head for numbers, nice handwritingPrivate detective--convicted misc forgeriesï ê2PArt's what you make it. That's whatStammer figured too when he gaveFlimsey that paint by numbers phoneyFlimsey the world's most famous	colour blind art collector (& a real
gaudy dresser) had hired Stammer'sagency to locate the "Missing Monet"Mike blew the advance but I guess hestill had a head for numbers.Claudiaverified the "find" in her "Art OfHigh Society" review and staked herreputation on it. By next morninghundreds of identical "finds" had	surfaced in hobby shops & rec rooms
everywhere. Mike admitted the hoaxbut Claudia was ruined. SuspectingFlimsey commissioned the work to sether up she vowed revenge. "I'llmake him see red in the hall witha gun."got andhe vowed to avenge Nigel's deathon the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear j 0Practical Pastimes1wó”óïðjñðñbòñò@÷P÷c÷v÷†÷Múâú\ûöûªüœ÷øŒøùµùZýný€ý¬ýÁýShe was a dirty rat.She played her records too loud.She pulled too many practical jokes.She caught you cheating at cards.Do you need all that glue?Who won the world series?Is your radio still broken?Is it a breath mint or a candy?What is the pepper for?Did you take out the garbage yet?We're off to see the wizard.I know someone who can fix your bar.You are one kool dude.Bagged any grouse lately, old boy?Your carpet is filthy.How are your lemmings?Are you still betting the ponies?Have you over-extended your credit?Is your back any better?Getting more bang out of your cigars?Have you been dealing lately?How is that new Scotch?Are you happy with the marzipan pigs?You should quit aerobics class.ÿ±óÿ	{ôÿõÿ—õÿ		uö	¥ö	
Çö	÷öÿSydney: "She's gone too far.  I         think my nose is burned!"Peter:  "I actually thought it was         a nice gift until the darn         thing started to drip all         over."Claudia: "I thought Mike was really          rude coming to the party          dressed like that."Agatha:  "At least the others          laughed."Agatha:  "What happened to your          nose?"Sydney:  "Thanks for the cigars!"Agatha:  "Oh.  Har har har!!"Peter:  "...and then it started to     drip all over.  I really think     this has gone far enough.Mike:  "Yes.  I've been too chicken     to agree until now.  Somebody     should go after that old hen.""Only one person hit a fowl at the ball.""Your pants are falling down.""I know where the murder may take place.""I'me as confused as you are and Peter seems to be nervous today."ÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿ
ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿWhen Sherlock Holmes retired in1912 what did he take up?taxidermybeekeepingpaint-by-numbersdrinkingWhat was Sherlock Holmes' address?8411 1/2 Sunset Blvd10 Rillington Pl10 Downing Street221b Baker StreetWho is murdered 8 times in the movie"Kind Hearts and Coronets?"Duke WayneLord OlivierSir Alec GuinessSir Michael RedgraveWho designed the beheading machineadopted for use in France in 1792?Dr Antoine LouisMaximillian RobespierreDr GuillotineMarie AntoinetteFrench writer Georges Simenoncreated what famous detective?Inspector Van der ValkSergeant PrestonInspector CloussauInspector MaigretHer best evening gown is on the bed.A box containing itching powder,fountain pens, cigars, ink and glue.Note:  Meet Sydney, 6:30, patio.A beautiful red evening gown ishanging in the closet.The garbage is empty.Note:  Meet Agatha, her room, 4:30.A clean tux with a dry cleaning billattached is in the closet.There are ink spots on the carpet.There is an Ink Spots record onthe stereo.A rumpled toxedo is on a chair.On the desk is the invitation toAgatha's formal dinner banquet heldlast Friday.In the ashtray is the remains of anexploded cigar."A chicken costume is on his bed.A torn up invitation to Agatha'scostume party held last Friday.At least 3 decks of cards are here.Note:  Meet Peter, hall, 7:00.Enjoys a good jokeLoose as a gooseLast mystery: "Good Help is Hard to Find."Remembers the AlamoA poor sport at work and playive--convicted misc forgeries †2QAgatha sure clucked Mike lastFriday.  He never felt more foolishthan when he walked into theballroom with his chicken costume	on.  100 stares from 100 formally
dressed socialites!Mike was absolutely outraged thatAgatha would pull a practical jokeof such magnitude on him.  He couldstand the itching powder but notthis.However, Mike straightened out hisruffled feathers and plannedrevenge. He set up a meeting withAgatha in the library where hewould turn her into swisscheese with his 38 special.dmitted the hoaxbut Claudia was ruined. SuspectingFlimsey commissioned the work to sether up she vowed revenge. "I'llmake him see red in the hall witha gun."got andhe vowed to avenge Nigel's deathon the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear  0A Stitch In Time!2~ó›ó÷ð‰ñòtòôòt÷„÷”÷¡÷º÷~úýú­û0ü´üÊ÷^øÓøRùìù*ýHý{ýšý¬ýClaudia called you Potato HeadClaudia laughed at your knickersAgatha hated Mike's MysterywearClaudia squeezed you out of the dealThat a Princess Anne clothes horse?How're those Buster Brown's?Your bun been through the microwave?Have you been into the sheep dip?Too bad about the contract.That your mollusk collection?You a Frank Sinatra fan?Is that feather boa licenced?How long is it?Who do you like in the Toilet Bowl?Who's your proctologist?Elvis your main squeeze?Love your Cleaver codpiece.Your puttees need cleaning.Did you drink all the Gator-Aid?Your jowls have the jiggles.You should have taken the Mets.You owe the bookies a bundle.Is that your newt collection?Is that pincushion for acupuncture?ÿ¸óÿ‡ôÿ	Kõÿ
öÿ	¿ö		÷	÷	O÷ÿSydney:  "I don't get it.  Why would          anyone wear a spandex          deerstalker hat?"Claudia: "This is hot stuff. Wait'll you see the new Perry Mason designer truss--You need it."Peter:  "Looks like Mike's         Mysterywear is a big         success, congrats."Mike:   "Doesn't do me much good.         Claudia squeezed me out of         my own business."Agatha:  "your outfit looks like two          children fighting under a          blanket."Claudia: "Oh yeah,  Well your     monstrosity looks like a sack     of cats heading for the river."Peter: "Who made your suit, Purina?"Sydney: "That's funny coming from         you needlenose.  That a         Liberace leftover you got         on?""If Stammer gets a chance he'll make sure she's well-basted.""A stitch in time.""He'd like to see her dressed in basic black.""He shall reap what he has sewn."ÿ	ÿÿÿ
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ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿWhat baseball team had it's ownMurderers' Row?1969 New York Mets1942 St. Louis Browns1927 New York Yankees1919 Chicago White SoxWhere were there 1801 unsolvedgangland slayings between 1919-1983?ChicagoClevelandDetroitNew YorkIn the U.S., who is classified asmissing person 75-3425?Howard HughesJimmy HoffaElvis PresleyAmelia EarhartOn Sept. 13, 1916 the residents ofErwin, Tenn., hanged for murder?Teddy Roosevelt's evil twinJesse JamesBilly the KidA circus elephantWhat famous Old West killer was bornHenry McCarty in New York City,1859?Billy the KidThe Sundance KidThe Cisco KidCaptain KiddJar of sheep dip cold cream.Invalid driver's license.Tweed busby.  Plus fours.Note:  Meet Claudia in hall at 4:30.Royalty contract withStammer--torn in half.Marketing charts.  Ravereviews from: Coco Carnal,Bill Blast, Calvin Clandestine.Note:  Meet Sydney, library, 3:00.Porcelain bust of Elvis.Membership card for Flat EarthSociety.Two page edition of L. Ron Hubbard's"Wit and Wisdom."Eldridge Cleaver designer codpiece.Blazer made from deck chair.Hippo logo on golf shirt.Note:  Meet Peter, patio, 5:00.Blueprints for Mike's Mysterywear.Sewing machine, patterns,pincushion.Note:  Meet Peter on patio at 3:00.Knits her own tweed knickersMarkets line of clothes called Mike's MysterywearChanges his clothes bianuallyWears parachutesHandy with needle and threadport at work and play--convicted misc forgeriestre÷ <2RClaudia's designer clothes werea lucrative sideline.  But she'dripped off Stammer's original ideaof "Mike's Mysterywear", squeezed	him out and now reaped the rewards.Mike was steamed and set up aMidnight Murder in his room wherehe was going to jab her jodhpurswith a carving knife.stand the itching powder but notthis.However, Mike straightened out hisruffled feathers and plannedrevenge. He set up a meeting withAgatha in the library where hewould turn her into swisscheese with his 38 special.dmitted the hoaxbut Claudia was ruined. SuspectingFlimsey commissioned the work to sether up she vowed revenge. "I'llmake him see red in the hall witha gun."got andhe vowed to avenge Nigel's deathon the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear  0	Last Laff$3£óÀóîð€ñò‘ò óã÷ö÷øø ø`úèúaûÃû3ü0øŸøùƒùú£ü¹üÖüôüýSydney called you a Weenie.Sydney threatened your dog.Sydney said you were a lousy writer.Sydney hates Madonna and Sean.Do you carve your own axe handles?Is that a photo of your boyfriend?I see you have a new duvet?I see Schpott schatt on your schooes.Your ceiling mirror is cracked.Is that painting on real velvet?Those detonating caps look dangerous.I like your room in leather.Your plants have got scabies.Who do you like at Wimbledon?Is Jim McMahon's ego that big?Clean your desk, it's a mess.I see you got tickets to the Met.Memorized any more insults?Are you going to San Francisco?Your back scratcher is being deported.Sydney will love your bubble bath.Did you see "Spinal Tap?"Your goldfish go to obedience school?Is that all there is?ÿÝóÿ¯ôÿtõÿ	,öÿ	Îö		÷	Z÷		­÷ÿMike:   "If he calls me a "weenie"         once more I'm going to         tell Mumsy on him."Agatha: "He's a wretched man.  He         threatened to kick my dog         Schpott in the slats."Claudia: "That big tub of goo.  He          told me I wasn't a writer;          I'm a typist."Peter:   "Well he called me a snoid.          I'm going to bust his          chops."Mike:   "Care to join us for a         little Midnight Madness?"Sydney: "Love to.  I've got another         round of insults for you         mental midgets."(Har! Har!)Agatha: "Who drew the lucky number?"Mike:   "I dunno Toots. We're         bound to secrecy, remember.         We'll find out at         midnight.""Hope I win the lottery.  I've got something that'll blow his mind.""Sydney will get the 'point' if I win the secret draw.""You're a chump Holmes.  You'll never figure out the killer in this one.""Watch for a rerun of the Lizzie Borden caper!"	ÿÿÿÿ
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ÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿWhat do P. D. James initials standfor?Penelope DaphnePhyllis DorothyPublic DomainPatty DukeIn "Inspector Maigret Mystified"what was the drug habit?CrackHashishEtherOreganoWhat is Mickey Spillane'sfull name?Stacy SpillaneFrank Morrison SpillaneToots SpillaneSimon Shuster SpillaneWho does Nero Wolfe meet in"The Doorbell Rang"?Marvin MillerJohn Beresford TiptonHoover SalesmanJ. Edgar HooverHow did Norman's mother diein "Psycho"?HeartburnFrightPoisonStarvationBook:  "Noose Knots Made Easy."Book:  "The Chihuahua as an        Attack Dog."Axe handles.Note:  Meet Mike, library, 3p.Detonating device.  Clock.  Wires.Latest mystery: "The Dick and JaneMurders."Note:  Meet Peter, patio, 3:30.Knife-sharpener.  Target withSydney's face.Book:  "The Ego has Landed" byJim McMahon.Book:  "1001 Insults."Videos: "Don Rickles in Concert""Joan Rivers Live".Note:  Meet Mike, hall, 4.Bubble bath.  Hand warmers.Jammies with toes.Bullets.  Gun cleaner.Note:  "Meet Agatha, 4:30, hall.Wears sensible shoesMakes Madonna look virginalCaptain of English All-TwitsEats for twoWears bi-focal contact lensesecks of cards are here.Note:  Meet Peter, hall, 7:00.Enjoys a good jokeLoose as a gooseLast mystery: "Good Help is Hard to Find."Remembers the AlamoA poor sport at work and playive--convicted misc forgeries4 †2SPerhaps the most confounding caseof my career. Certainly it waseasy to figure Sydney was to bethe victim--the insults he was	rehearsing for his appearance on
the Joan Rivers show were notwell received by the other membersof the Murder Club.But who would shut the motor mouth?Each had a motive but it was finallydecided by secret lottery andClaudia's number came up.  All shehad to do was get Sydney intoAgatha's room at Midnight and "blow	his mind."ld turn her into swisscheese with his 38 special.dmitted the hoaxbut Claudia was ruined. SuspectingFlimsey commissioned the work to sether up she vowed revenge. "I'llmake him see red in the hall witha gun."got andhe vowed to avenge Nigel's deathon the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear   0Motherly Love4bò”òºðñNñ·ñò«øÄøÎøáø÷ø)û³ûüTüÁüùqùÒù[úÄú-ýWýyýýµýYou wanted Mike's inheritance.copyrights.publishing.gold fish.So you're independently employed?crazy?wealthy?minded?Why do you need a pencil sharpener?knife?skate?banana?Are you curious about long lost gold?long lost road?long lost nephew?long lost doily?Ever been to a Mexican bingo game?restaurant?divorce?bean dance?You do sound like Ricky Ricardo!Sydney Meanstreet!Marco Polo!Mr Ed!ÿ£òÿGóÿüóÿ³ôÿ	õÿNöÿ÷ÿ	Ô÷		zøÿPeter:  "We're having a big partynext week."Agatha: "Oh, for who?"Peter:  "Why, Mike's 21st birthday.Didn't you know?"Agatha: "No, why should I?"Sydney: "Mike doesn't have anyrelatives to invite."Peter:  "Doesn't even know hisparents. Why?"Sydney: "A million and one reasons."Peter:  "Maybe just a million."Agatha: "I've had a wonderfulevening--but this wasn't it!"Sydney: "Wait a minute Aggy"Agatha: "We have 0 to talk about."Sydney: "We have a millionthings to discuss"Agatha:  "In my new book the heroinepretends she's about to kill herselfto lure her ex to the scene."Claudia: "He goes out of love?"Agatha:  "No hate. His last chanceto find where she hid the money."Sydney:  "Mike's 21st is this week.21 is a big birthday--adulthood--things held in trust--know whatI mean?  Cut me in or I'll make abig announcement."Agatha:  "You're crazy!"Claudia:  "Can I borrow your dentalfloss?"Mike:     "Agatha's got it."Claudia:  "Can I borrow your knife?"Mike:     "She's got that too."Claudia:  "That packrat.""This is Sydney's answering machine,leave your name & number."Agatha:  "Oh S. I can't take itanymore.  This business of themoney.  It's goodbye cruel worldfor me at 12 on the patio tonight."Agatha:  "Bookstore?  I'd like toorder 50,000 copies of Maypole'snew book "The Elephant Trap."Cheque's in the mail.Send them anywhere you like.  Bye!""Hot tip--monitor Agatha's roomright now!"ÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿWhat is the accepted hangman's dropfor a murderer weighing 196 lbs?2 ft.8 ft.16 ft.32 ft.On which day was Julius Caesarmurdered?March 15July 4Valentine's dayArbor dayOld west gunfighter Doc Holidaywas a:Tubercular dentistSyphilitic chiropodistMyopic proctologistEpileptic neurologistSweeney Todd is a nickname for:cyanidea gaola straight razorScotland Yard's flying squadWhat did you dial for murder in the1954 Hitchcock film?555-1212M1-800-212-DEAD666Deposit slip--Swiss account #123 for$1,000,000.Birth Certificate: Mike Maypole,May 30, 1965.Note:  Call bookstore at 3:30.Note:  Please return my knifesharpener Agatha.Note:  Meet Mike in the hall, 8:30.Newspaper headline:  "Millionaireleaves it all to lost nephew."Genealogy report for S. Meanstreet.Copy of "Divorce Mexican Style."Note: Meet Agatha in hall, 4:30.Note from Peter:  Was that yourmessage on my answering machine?You always sound like Sydney to me.Once famous writer--sales now in declineFamily money--Dental floss farmsCurious--suspicious of the equatorA huge bombard of sackA young, 1 man slumport at work and play--convicted misc forgeriestreÆ @2TMike Stammer--a face only a mothercould love. Agatha was old enough tobe his Mom.  But none of the other"sleuths" guessed it.  None knew ofher secret and miserable marriage to	Sydney.  Agatha blackmailed Sydney
into silence years ago and MikeMaypole went off to the foster home.Sure Mike noticed she was alwaysfixing his hair and trying to feedhim sandwiches but never guessedshe was his mother!
Then Aggy's brother Morristhe movie mogul left a cool millionin her trust to his long lostnephew.  Sydney demandeda cut so Agatha decided to prune thefamily tree, Sydney-wise a la knife,	patio style.  She'd keep Mike in the
dark and buy up all her own booksto get back on the bestseller list.What a Mother!Have you ever been on a forklift ride?Hear : 0Rhymes & Crimes5Nòrò¨ðôðKñ–ñò®÷¸÷Ô÷ç÷ô÷údúûÓûNüø‚øáø?ù›ùý@ýiýýªýProfessional jealousyfootballethicspaint jobSo, another Goose Trap!Moose TrapElephant Trap!Clap TrapSo, you secretly enjoy house work?Agatha's work?art work?wood work?So, no time lost in reading.writing.arithmetic.dancing.Are you an epileptic elephant?
analytic commandant?
paralytic sycophant?
optimistic hydrant?Ha Ha!  Not a book for everyone!reading!anyone!keeping!ÿòÿ
óÿ
“óÿ1ôÿÊôÿ		ìö		 ÷			S÷		x÷ÿPeter: "Is it true Sydney's given
up mysteries?"Mike: "Yes, submitted a collectionof 2 line poems. He's a hit."Claudia:  "Any word from yourpublisher?"Agatha: "Yes, wonderful news--theylove it--again!"Claudia:  (gag) "I'm so happy!"Claudia:  "People can't be in theMurder Club if theydon't write mysteries."Agatha:   "How do we get him out?"Claudia:  "Let's get rid of him."Claudia: "Everything she's writtenhas been a hit!"Mike:    "Did you read The Elephanttrap?"Claudia: "No, and I wouldn't wastemy time."Claudia: "I'll make sure he'sthere. You make sure you're thereBring you gun."Agatha:  "Library at midnight. Theworld will be minus 1 lousy writer."Claudia: "Exactly. I'll call him."Mike:  "The 1st rule of writing is
not to write like Sydney."Peter: "The 2nd & 3rd are the same."Mike:  "He's burnt out. 2-line
poems!  He shouldn't be in
the Murder Club."Claudia:  "Congratulations Syd!Could I ask an old proto proof read a few lines?"Sydney:  "Why, yes my dear!"Claudia: "Patio at midnight then.""Mike's got a meeting at 7:00in the library.""Some great acting in Agatha'sroom at 3:00.""Hot tip--Agatha's room at 5:00.""Red hot tip--Claudia in Agatha'sroom at 8:00."ÿÿÿÿ
ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ	ÿÿÿÿÿWhat is the name of the bog inHound of the Baskervilles?OkeefenokeeGrimpen MireStilton SwampBob Dog BogWhat was Nero Wolfe's favoritehobby?Stamp CollectingCookingTaxidermyOrchidsIn the TV series "Harry-O" what didthe "O" stand for?OrwellOrvilleOvidOreo"The Name of the Game is Murder" isabout?EuchreOchreFootballTiddleywinksGwendoline Butler wrote:Dine and be DeadAntlers in the MousseTender TrufflesArsenic and Anchovies"Another Elephant Trap."A Classic--Publisher.Note: Meet Claudia here 3, 5, 8."Your script is good and originalbut the part that is good isn'toriginal and the part that isoriginal isn't good"--Publisher.Mangled copy of "The Elephant Trap.""Thanks for your book. I'll lose notime in reading it. None!"--Publisher.Note meet Mike at 1:00 in his room.Tell Claudia to meet Sydney at 8:30,his room--Says it's urgent."Monumental--Riveting 2-line poems!Contact soon,possible movie rights."--Publisher.Paralytic sycophant!--Anon."This was a good book but not a bookfor reading--Not to be tossed asidelightly though--It should be thrownwith great force!"--Publisher.Note: Meet Claudia, library, 7:00.Successful mystery playwright--"The Elephant Trap",etcSpecialty: thrillers; also some writingWrites mystery musicals--tone deafLegend in his own lunchtimeLewd vegitarian--mediocre writerrt at work and playive--convicted misc forgeries$ $2U	Professional jealousy's an ugly wordbut then so is murder!  Oh Claudiadidn't care about Sydney's hugesuccess with his two line rhymes.	She was interested in the big stuff-
three lines or more-the type ofwriting that seemed to come soeasily to Agatha.  Success, money,fame--she hated her for it.The fake scheme to oust Sydney fromthe mystery club was just to lureAgatha to the library at midnight.She was even bringing her own gun!Agatha would be an accomplice tomurder all right.  Her own!phew.  Sydney demandeda cut so Agatha decided to prune thefamily tree, Sydney-wise a la knife,	patio style.  She'd keep Mike in the
dark an buy up all her own booksto get back on the bestseller list.What a Mother!on the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear s 0The Scales Of Justice#6ÁóÞóêð|ñûñò'ó9÷L÷V÷c÷p÷ùÛùOúÃú ûw÷æ÷Rø¡øýøŽû¤û·ûóûüYou need a fork lift to move him.He weighs less than the rest.You hate his plaid tie collection.His comical monacle.Why do you have bricks in your room?I hear you knit feminist bras?Planning on forming an old girls club?Do you floss those dentures?How do you keep your wig warm?So you're reading Durrell.Been married lately?Tell me, why did you want a forklift?So I hear you've been surveyed.Stammer tells me your a chauvinist.Does your monacle need cleaning?Do you consider AIDS a murder weapon?So I hear you've been surveyed.How do you lose weight with mousse?Have you ever considered surgery?Have you ever been on a forklift ride?Hear you're like a football, pigskin?Stammer 10W30 is NOT a detergent.This hotel has a laundry service.I understand you emulate Dirty Harry?íóÿŠô"õ
¹õÿ	Eö	ËöÿAgatha: "You mean you don't care        which one you do in?"Claudia: "Well some things are         easier to carry off than         others."Sydney: "If I was properly cared for        I wouldn't need these diets.Agatha: "It's a crying shame you're        not as slim as Flimsey."Peter: "It's preposterous she should        think us all chauvinists."Mike:  "Yeah, but who can tell what        a dumb broad's thinkin'."Agatha:  "Dearie, if your going to         do it, why not Stammer?"Claudia: "Forget it. He's too filthy         to be touched.""You've got files, you know what kind of "men" they are. We all know there are only two ways to even out the membership.""I want you to find out why the that woman didn't survey my weight. What is she doing on the patio?"
ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿWhat was Nero Wolfe's favoritebrand of beer?Moosehead LightGuinessRemmersOld India Pale AlePatrick McGoohan debuted in what USTV series?ColumboThe PrisonerDanger ManMan from UNCLEWho was the most obese:Perry MasonNero WolfeCharlie ChanCannonWhat was Sherlock Holmes' otherprofession?LoutIngrateApothecaryBeekeeperWho is known as "the father of thedetective story"?Edgar Allen PoeRobert Louis StevensonPere SoapCharles DickensBook: How to form an Old GirlsNetwork.Note to meet Claudia on the patio at5p.Forklift rental rejection slip, anew gown, and several bricks.Note to meet Agatha at 2.30p onthe patio.A note from Claudia: I'me taking asurvey - how much do you weigh?A note to meet Mike at 3p. in thehall.Book: The Chocolate Mousse Diet forMounties.Note to meet Agatha at 3 in herroom.A note from Claudia: I'me taking asurvey - how much do you weigh?Closet full of clothes, all filthy.Old fashioned femaleMilitant feministOnce said "Never met a broad that didn't fall all over me"Member of the all male Elk's clubPart of the old boys networkralytic sycophant!--Anon."This was a good book but not a bookfor reading--Not to be tossed asidelightly though--It should be thrownwith great force!"--Publisher.Note: Meet Claudia, library, 7:00.Successful mystery playwright--"The Elephant Trap",etcSpecialty: thrillers; also some writingWrites mystery musicals--tone deafLegend in his own lunchtimeLewd vegitarian--mediocre writerrt at work and playive--convicted misc forgeries* )]2V	This silly scenerio had me sunk fora second. Clearly Claudia could havekilled any convenient chump.  Seemsshe was murderously mad that male	members of the murder club outnumber
the females. So.. poison one on thepatio and plop them into the pond,prevent them from bobbing withbricks in their britches.	Why Peter?  It was a decisiondetermined by the disposal dilemma.Without a fork lift how could sheflip Sydney into Loch Ness?  Stammerwas a bit too heavy and besides,that pig would dirty her gown. But	puffy Flimsey would practically float
over the wall. The kind of crime shecould carry off.style.  She'd keep Mike in the
dark an buy up all her own booksto get back on the bestseller list.What a Mother!on the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear ;